Missing Brother Roy (1933-2020)

This past week, on Thursday night, between Verspers and Compline our beloved Brother Roy died in his monastic cell from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS). He was 87 years old and in the 44th year of life profession and the 54th year of priestly ordination. We had known of his diagnosis for a year or so. At first, it seemed like the illness might progress slowly but then the pace of losses accelerated in the last six months.

In the last two weeks, as many of my brothers, I had been praying for a peaceful and prompt liberation from Roy's suffering. I was dreading the prospect of Roy having to struggle as he did for an extended period of time. I am grateful that he is no longer suffering and now enjoying God's Love more directly than ever.

While ALS is a terrible illness, it contributed to Roy's continued conversion to the monastic life. Through all the diminishments, he continued to teach us in actions and behaviors what the faithfulness of a monk looks like. He continued to participate in our liturgical and social life as fully as ALS allowed.

The whole community assembled near Roy's cell shortly after his death and our Superior, Br. Robert James, said the Prayer of Commendation. The next day, we sang the Office of the Departed throughout the hours of the Divine Office and celebrated a Requiem mass.

We are very grateful for all the professionals mobilized by the Hudson Valley Hospice these last seven weeks to help Roy and us to negotiate this transition. They were always available and helpful and full of resources we would not have known about on our own.

Br. Roy's funeral will take place on Tuesday, March 31 at 11 a.m. in the monastery's St Augustine Church.

Marks of sympathy to out community have been flowing abundantly. Thank you for having shown us how our Brother touched your lives too.

One frequent visitor from NYC, expressed her appreciation of Roy this way:

I was so sad to see this morning’s post about Roy. Since since I first stumbled onto the steps of Holy Cross an unlikely visitor and unlikelier Christian identity, Roy’s sweet, gentle voice and smile contributed to the air of welcome, safety, and kind embrace that has defined Holy Cross for me. One of the brothers mentioned during my last stay that most of the monks were essentially introverts, and Roy’s name was mentioned among them. It took me by surprise. It’s not that he was ever prone to garrulousness or boisterous laughter. But his smile alone spoke volumes; his quiet, palpable faith touched anyone who looked in his eyes; and his love was all-embracing, his gratitude all-encompassing. The robust warmth of his embrace during the peace conveyed a blessing of strength and peace of mind and heart. Even reserved, he was as unreserved in giving of himself as any extrovert. 

Yes, our Brother Roy was a quiet and unassuming introvert. He had genuine warmth and lovely humor discreetly and timely delivered. Through the last months of his illness, he became increasingly expressive of the love that flowed through him. The illness made him sometimes doubt what remaining purpose there was to his diminishing life.

But we assured him that he continued to be a wisdom figure to us even more through his suffering. I told him a couple of time that his freer expression of love for all those around him demonstrated the best purpose a life could have: to be an instrument of God's love regardless of our life's circumstances. He did not object to my assertion. I hope he even believed it had a good dosis of truth to it. I think he did.

I miss you Roy. But I'm happy you have been delivered from suffering. Thank you for being my Brother.

Pictures of better days in the last few years in West Park. From top left, clockwise: teaching the italic script in a calligraphy retreat; enjoying sharing his craft with visitors in his studio; the calligrapher's elegant hands at work; and that impish grin...

Of course, Roy was also a gifted artist. His calligraphies (and reproductions thereof) grace many homes. One of Roy's most popular calligraphy was of an Iraneus of Lyon saying:

The glory of God is the human person fully alive.

Roy modeled that saying throughout his monastic life (and probably I surmise, before that too).

Below are some of his calligraphies. His choice of subjects reflect his deep spirituality and great sense of humor.

Roy, the calligrapher. Some examples of Roy's calligraphies.

In the last few weeks, I have spent a couple of days at General Theological Seminary to offer spiritual direction there. I extended my stay by a couple of nights to enable me to visit my dear friend Lewis in ICU pursuant to extensive heart surgery. My friend is now in rehab and recovering nicely. It was good to spend a couple of hours with him on four different days. I am grateful to our community for having given me the flexibility to be with my good friend on this occasion.

Two weeks ago, four of us got to go see a Met Live transmission of Porgy and Bess at the UPAC theater in Kingston. We are so grateful to our friend Chris Silva who makes it possible to get these complimentary tickets from time to time. The opera was beautiful and moving.

This past week, we have had a four-day Centering Prayer retreat led by Leslee Terpay. Because of work in the Guesthouse, the group moved to the St Michael Chapel in the crypt and loved their prayer environment.

Monastery scenes. From top left, clockwise: Bros. Robert James, Robert Leo, Aidan and Bob chat in the book store after Sunday dinner; Bros. Josép, Bernard, John and Bede with our friend Julian as we came out of the Porgy and Bess opera; the Centering Prayer retreat group in the crypt.

Winter is relatively mild this year. But the weather was even milder in NYC where I caught some early blooms two weeks ago.

Blooms. Hellebore and Camelia at GTS, And Witchazel on the High Line.

Please pray for the repose of Roy's soul and for comfort for all of us who mourn him. Please pray for Roy's younger sister Charlotte and younger brother Blaine too.